so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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