he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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