Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
