why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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