vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
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