and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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