you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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