Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
whose parrot is this?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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