could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
