Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
