i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
