We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
