Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
