LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
