I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
