You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Randomize
