Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
