Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
