What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
