well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
