I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
