Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
