making cat noises will not fix the situation.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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