hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
