Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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