your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
