I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
