Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
