I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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