A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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