before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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