Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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