It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
