just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
