i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
