Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
