I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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