It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
My vagina is officially offended.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
