Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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