is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
