that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
