What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
