Nicole vs. Life
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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