Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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