so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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