i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
