You're my little dorito
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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