He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
