Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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