whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
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