he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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