East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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