So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
